One year ago today, I just been discharged from hospital from a four day stay due some serious health concerns bought about from a short lived intimate relationship.
It was a relationship that came about from a friendship. A friend I believed I could trust. Somebody older, and I therefore believed, wiser.
For a very long time, I held on to a lot of anger about that relationship. Reason being, and I am sure most have seen the #metoocampaign on social media this past week, is because it was not a fully consensual intimate relationship from my side, and yet, I did nothing to stop it.
Abuse that had happened in childhood, left me feeling that my body wasn’t mine, it was purely for a man’s pleasure. ✨
I was not anywhere near embodied during that intimate relationship, in fact, I was the opposite, and therein lies the anger.
Self directed anger. I am a body image coach who preaches the importance of embodiment practices, and I was far from embodied during intimacy with somebody I should have been able to trust.
It took until my recent trip to Tulum, and at the encouragement of @nishamoodley , that the majority of our sisterhood went skinny dip in the moonlight.
It was invigorating and liberating and freeing! I haven’t felt that embodied for a very long time. Something had been awakened (may have also been the salsa dancing directly before the skinny dipping! ) and it hasn’t switched off.
There have been many further moments of embodied practices and playfulness since the skinny dipping, and can say I feel more in touch with my body than I have in a long time!
It would have been easy to keep holding on to the shame, pain, hurt, anger, frustration and all of those other negative emotions, but they were not serving me. They were holding me prisoner.
It was time to let go...
It was time to celebrate my body again. To not hide it, but to reclaim it. To allow it a lot more play, and alot more respect!
What is it time for you to truly let go of? Do you celebrate your body? Or do you cover it in shame? What are your embodiment practices?
It’s time to celebrate YOU and YOUR BODY! ✨